Are You and Your Baby Safe?

If your partner is hurting, controlling, or scaring you, you may be experiencing domestic violence. The questions below can help you recognize these behaviors.

Does your partner put you down or humiliate you?

  • Does your partner call you names, insult you or make you feel worthless?
  • Does your partner embarrass or criticize you?

Does your partner hurt you physically or sexually?

  • Does your partner push, slap, hit, punch, kick, or choke you (strangle or obstruct your breathing)?
  • Does your partner make you do sexual acts that you don't want to do or hurt you during sex?

Does your partner try to control your life or limit your independence?

  • Does your partner tell you who you can and cannot see or talk to?
  • Does your partner control the family's money and access to basic needs?
  • Does your partner make you share passwords, check your email/phone messages, and/or track where you go in ways that feel controlling or uncomfortable?

Does your partner scare or intimidate you?

  • Does your partner lose their temper, get very jealous or break things?
  • Does your partner threaten to hurt you, the kids, pets or themself?
  • Does your partner make you feel like you are walking on eggshells?

Does your partner interfere with your ability to care for your baby?

  • Does your partner make it harder for you to care for your baby or attend appointments?
  • Does your partner use your child to control, pressure, or upset you?

Victims of domestic violence are not always physically hurt. If any of these things are happening, you or your children may be at risk.

You are not alone.
You are not to blame.
Your partner's behavior is not your fault.
You deserve to be safe, supported, and treated with respect.

For some families, harmful or controlling behavior may begin or increase during pregnancy or after a baby is born. This can impact your health and safety and your baby's well-being.

This can affect both you and your baby

  • A person who is abused during pregnancy may be more likely to have a miscarriage, infections, bleeding, anemia and other health problems. These can affect both the pregnant individual and the baby.
  • When abuse occurs during pregnancy, the risk of having a low-birth-weight baby is twice as high.
  • In households where domestic violence is being perpetrated, children are often also at risk of physical harm.
  • Children who experience or witness a parent or guardian hurting the other parent or guardian can suffer from health problems, sleep problems, anger, guilt, fear and anxiety.
  • Almost half (45.3%) of homicides of people who were pregnant or within one year of pregnancy involve intimate partner violence.

You and your baby do not deserve to be treated this way.
You have a right to be safe.
Help/support is available.

What type of help do you need? The services listed below are available in most communities.

Domestic Violence Victim Services:

You don't have to go through this alone. Victim advocates are available in your community. There are many ways for victims of domestic violence to get help. One source of help is from a victim advocate.

An advocate is there to provide victims and survivors with information about the rights and options available and discuss safety planning so victims and survivors can make informed decisions. Advocates are generally available through non-profit organizations across the state. These organizations may be a domestic violence service provider, a rape crisis program, or a victim assistance program. These organizations may offer:

  • crisis intervention, connection to available emergency domestic violence shelter, or accompaniment through forensic sexual assault forensic exams through 24-hour hotlines;
  • emotional support and issue oriented counseling;
  • referrals to other services in the community that may meet specific needs;
  • advocacy with other entities such as but not limited to the legal system, the social service system, and hospitals.

Services for children:

Many programs have counseling and support for children in the household to help them understand what is happening.

Medical providers:

Medical providers can treat injuries, document abuse, and connect you to additional support services. They can also help ensure your safety and provide referrals to appropriate resources.

Police and the courts:

If you need emergency law enforcement or medical services, you may call 911. Police can help in many ways, such as getting you and your children to a safe place Victims of domestic violence have the right to petition for an order of protection in family court and family court can address custody, visitation, or child support needs.

Additional Resources

  • Office of Children & Family Services: 1-800-342-3720 To report child abuse
  • National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse: 1-800-342-7472 Prevention information and parent helpline

24 Hour Hotlines:

You are important.
No one deserves to be abused. No one should have to live in fear. You and your children deserve to feel safe.
You are not alone. Help is available.